How To Set Healthy Boundaries During Quarantine
Spouse, kids, or roommates have you going crazy yet? During this period of social distancing, everyone is finding themselves mostly confined to their homes. Naturally, this means that you're stuck in very close corridors with everyone you’re living with.
Getting people-fatigued, frustrated, or overwhelmed are normal emotions with all this extra togetherness. In this unprecedented time, it is critical to create and implement healthy boundaries in your relationships.
Finding the sweet spot between relying on those close to you to get through this hard time and focusing on your individual needs will bring great personal wellness.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” - Maya Angelou
Boundaries are Breaking Down
We’re in a pandemic that is not only posing physical health threats but is trickling down to other areas of life. The virus has caused us to be in a state of semi or complete isolation. This brings with it an additional psychological impact. You might have started your social distancing by hopping on a video call for work dressed as you normally would in the office.
Now you might find yourself dressing increasingly more casual. Do you find yourself asking what day of the week it is more and more? Our everyday boundaries are breaking down.
Experiencing social isolation is known to have significant psychological impacts on people. You and the people you are living closely with might very well be experiencing mood changes, emotional functioning abilities, and overall decreases in wellness. Being in an environment where there is limited personal space conflicts, bickering, and stress are all known to happen.
As this continues over time, good nature and politeness can easily break down. It is important to recognize that this is a natural effect of what is happening in the world and you are not alone in these experiences. Also important, is knowing that you can work to address and help prevent these more negative emotions.
Set Some Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are especially essential right now to maintain healthy relationships and ultimately a healthy life. Dive into exploring your limits, communicating them effectively, and maintaining them. Start Small: Like any new skill, this is going to take some practice. Start with a boundary that is smaller and then work your way up to the ones that might be harder to enforce. Keep trying and you will get results!
Consider Your Feelings And Limits: What makes you feel uncomfortable or resentful? It really take time to reflect on that and what is causing those emotions. This will help you discover if a boundary is being crossed. If this is something that you cannot tolerate or accept, it’s passed your limit and is time to set a boundary.
Communicate And Be Direct With Your Needs: You might find you have similar communication styles with the person or people you need to express your boundaries with. However, you might have to be more direct to really get your point across. Either way, it is important that you positively express yourself.
Be Self-Aware: In order to set boundaries, you must first hone into your feelings and then honour them! If you find yourself loosening your hold on your boundaries, it’s time to start asking some questions. What has changed? What am I doing, or what are ‘they’ doing? What is it that is making me feel resentful or uncomfortable? And finally, “what can I do?” or “what do I have control over?”
Give Yourself Permission to Set and Stick to Your Boundaries: This step has the potential to be very challenging since you’re most likely dealing with loved ones and don’t want to upset them. You might fear the response enforcing your boundaries could elicit. Don’t let guilt, fear, or self-doubt stop you from getting what you deserve. Remember that having boundaries is you respecting yourself.
Make Your Self-Care a Priority!: Now that you’ve given yourself permission, don’t put it on the back burner! Putting your self-care first heightens your wellness. Being in a better place personally means that you are more equipped to be there and help the ones you love.
Get Extra Help if you Need It: Nothing about this is easy and there is nothing wrong with seeking additional help! This can be through friends, your religious community, a support group, counseling, or even seeking out some good resources to follow on your own.
Stir Crazy Couples
You love your significant other, but all this time together can be driving you up a wall. While you might also be comforted being with your loved one during this time, it’s also important for each of you to individually take responsibility for your well-being. Here are a few quick tips!
Try to keep a routine
Set boundaries on your work schedules
Be on the lookout for substance use and abuse
Get outside together when you can and change up the scenery
If you have kids, work together to keep them occupied
Broaden your support system, talking to other people is healthy and beneficial
Plan something special, even if it’s just taking a nice drive or making a favourite meal
"Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect.”
Newsletter by: Renée Schweizer
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